A harder battle than expected...

Dear family and friends and readers,
I apologize for the lack of blogging in the last few weeks. These past few weeks were a rough few weeks. The excitement of moving and celebrating all the Jewish holidays wore off as Eyal started school and I became immersed with my Hebrew course. I experienced/am experiencing what is known as "Culture Shock". Big surprise there! Haha. Symptoms include: feeling isolated, lonely, depressed, experiencing loss of identity, loss of confidence, insecurity and everything in between. I had some pretty down days during which I seriously questioned my choice of moving to Israel. So here I was, feeling so alone in the world, feeling depressed and unable to function. Could this be normal? Am I normal?? Are others experiencing this,too?? This past week I started meeting a few other English speakers at my ulpan. We got to talking this weekend (on a super awesome trip to the desert that I will explain about soon) and it turns out I am not alone...I am only one in a million feeling absolutely crazy here. Take a bunch of successful and smart people from one country, throw them in the middle of a new country with a new language and culture and what do you get? You get young adults feeling like kids again, completely unable to fully function as well we they once did back at home. Add loss of family, friends and work and people find themselves experiencing depression and loss of identity that was never expected.

What's been my solution so far? Living and planning one day at a time. I get so easily wrapped up in trying to figure out what happens after my ulpan course. Masters, work, moving into the city of Haifa, money,future, success - so many things to worry about. For now, it's about waking up each day and facing the challenge of just that one day. I've made quite a few new friends who I am planning to do stuff with during the week. I am still in love with learning Hebrew, talking in Hebrew with strangers and amazing people when I tell them I am an Olah Hadasha (a new immigrant). I am so blessed to have Eyal and his family to support me. Eyal has been so supportive of me during this whole mess of getting culturally adjusted. Most awesome boyfriend award!

I am going to the gym every other day which has really helped. It gets my happiness level up for sure.
So, here I am, experiencing what millions of people around the world have experienced. Moving countries and changing languages and culture is an incredibly tough process. Kudos to all those who have done so successfully - I admire the courage people around the world who have had to pick and leave their home country for various reasons. Culture shock is kicing my butt - but I'm kicking back!

Another post to come soon about my amazing trip to the desert and Judean Mountains later today or tomorrow!